Suprise!! The Lord suprised me today with an hour gap to walk down to the Nautilus, a resort just ten minutes from the base with internet, to email back home! He is so good! As I am sitting here rereading my journal I am not sure what to even write.. my heart really does feel like it is in overload with all that I have already heard and seen.
Yesterday, we went to the village to invite people to the conference we are having today where Heidi and Randy will be speaking and then we will be serving lunch and having worship. The village is a bunch of grass huts and alot of broken Muslim people. I would walk around and greet all the kids with hugs and Salama... Moo Havo.. (hello How are you?) Their faces would light up and then they would continue on the walk with me and the rest of my team. The whole time I kept singing "He loves us.. oh how." I live in a nice house, have all the food and water I want + more while these people live in a hut with holes in the ceiling, sleep on a grass mat and have dirt floors and their children wear rags and eat once a day IF that. Back home I don't know what it means to TRUST Him to provide every need I have. These people, the ones that do know Him, rely on Him to provide EVERYTHING. I have been asking myself what will it take to bring me to that desperate place? "Hungry I come to you for I know you satisfy!" Then God pricked my heart and reminded me that in the states we are spiritually starving, our souls are poor and needy. Yes, we may have all that we need on the outside but on the inside we are more poor than these families who sleep in boxes on the dirt floor. My prayer then began to change to Lord draw me closer to your heart so that I may live following the rhythm of your heart.. If I am following His heart beat then my soul is being filled by HIS spriritual food. That is my prayer for everyone back home. I pray that we will be filled by HIS spiritual food that satisfies and leaves us hungry for MORE OF HIS KINGDOM not anything of this world.
I feel like I have been here a month but I have only been here a week. It is crazy to me to think about how much time I have left here and all that God is going to do in the weeks that follow. Please be praying I am filled with His joy and peace. I woke up a couple of times this week just exhausted and feeling empty.
A huge praise.... Kelly and I talked to our friend Angie about speaking in tongues and just all this bazar stuff. She really encouraged us to allow God to work in His time. To not feel frustrated because we are not worshipping Him the way everyone else is but to find rest in where HE has us right now. Just as God did in Song of Solomon and pulled away from the woman to increase her faith, I feel like that is what He is doing in me now.. He has pulled away only to increase my desperate cry for more of HIM. So please be praying that I will press deeper into HIM even if it is quite... HE IS THERE..HE just longs for me to go deeper into His heart.
LOVE YOU and MISS EACH OF YOU very much!
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salama, friend!! what a great post. you will be so thankful to have this online little journal. i so appreciate being able to listen to your heart as you are there. it helps me to know how to pray for you! and i almost feel like i'm right there!
ReplyDeletewhat a blessing it is to pull away from the comforts of home to see Him in a new way. i will be praying for Him to fill you, and will join you in praying for the people here in the states that have every creature comfort, but still lack the spirit. and for those of us who have the spirit, but are still not overflowing. i want to be hungry, but i'm full of other stuff. good reminder, girl!!
stay safe, healthy and sweet, and give kelly one of those awkward, "i'm not finished yet" hugs for me, okay?? i love you and miss you!